Ah, Thanksgiving. The day I’m most embarrassed by what an ungrateful piece of shit I am most of the time.
I have a wife that’s too pretty to be with me, but pout because I want her to be more enthusiastic about having sex with me – which she does regularly despite how unfulfilling it is for her. Imagine you live in a shitty studio apartment and you ask Michelangelo to paint the ceiling, AND HE ACTUALLY DOES. Anyone with an ounce of decency would think, “Holy shit, Michelangelo could paint anywhere, but he’s painting MY little ceiling? How lucky am I?” not, “Why am I the one who always has to initiate the painting?”
I have two incredible children – ages three and one – and I love them more than anything in the world, but get frustrated because even after hours of playing they want more attention from me instead of entertaining themselves for a while so I can tweet about bullshit.
I have a job that isn’t difficult and pays more than I deserve to make, but I come home every single day and complain because it is creatively unsatisfying and I don’t feel like I’m contributing to the world.
Today, my wife and children and I were unable to spend Thanksgiving with our family, but were invited by our close friends to have dinner with their family. It was fantastic. Better than I deserve.
Have you ever caught yourself complaining about a life that is so much better than you ever believed it would be? I have an amazing spouse, wonderful children, a good job, and generous friends. I don’t deserve it. And I don’t mean that in a humble, ‘aw shucks’ sort of way. I did nearly everything in my power as a young man to die alone and well before my time.
Many people who battle addiction and alcohol abuse don’t get the help or the second chances they so badly need. Many people who suffer from depression aren’t lucky enough to find a partner who sees through it and hangs in there when it isn’t pretty.
I’m not a man of great faith, which is strange because I’ve received the grace many do not. I struggle with that. I struggle with understanding what led me to have so much, and maybe that’s why I struggle with accepting that I do.
I am thankful. For whatever combination of great family, white privilege, and dumb luck led me to second, third, and fourth chances when so many never get a chance at all. I am thankful for my family, my job, and my friends.
I am thankful that tomorrow I get another chance to be a better man.