Wednesday, April 11, 2012

April 9th, 2012 - Hello, World

For some reason, the greatest moments in my life seem to be accompanied by a common denominator - snot and/or boogers.  

When I stood on a pristine beach in Jamaica and exchanged vows with my wife, I spent all 30 minutes overwhelmed by the idea that my friends and family were staring at a non-existent booger.  And when Gabe entered the world Monday, I battled a surgical mask full of the very-existent snot that comes into play when a grown man is out-crying his newborn son.

Dr. Frieden set the tone when, seconds before the first incision, he assured Summer and I he'd spent the previous night reading a text book and watching the necessary YouTube videos preparing him to perform a successful c-section. To be clear, he has actually performed about 1,400 of these surgeries, but takes it upon himself to calm the nerves of the clearly terrified with humor.  And to be even more clear, the woman being operated on was cool as can be.  Her big pansy of a husband?  Well...

I've spent the last 39 weeks thinking about schools, baseball games, and how incredibly awful it is going to be teaching a teenager how to drive in Dallas.  The moment I (sheepishly) watched Gabe being pulled into the world, all those visions were replaced by more simple worries, like is he supposed to bend that way, how many different colors do they turn in the first 40 seconds, and am I going to be charged for all the things he is peeing on?  For those of you scoring at home, the answers are - "yes", "four", and "he can pee on anything he wants, but no matter how tired you are, the next time you pee in the lobby fountain, you're gone!"

Luckily for us, Gabe is perfect.  He is healthy, beautiful, strong, and really knows his way around a boob.  Now the biggest worry in my life is how on Earth am I going to live well enough to feel like I've earned a blessing like this?


  1. I am SO not ready to be a parent but your blog is giving me hope that there might just be something to it. I can't wait to hear all about your new parent journey- what a great blog!

  2. Also, when I first read the blog's URL, I read it as "My Song Abe" and wondered what kind of tribute song you would be dedicating to good ole Abraham Lincoln. Writing about your son was clearly a much better option!

  3. That's funny. It's like every time I go to a movie at AMC and there is an ad for Fathom Events, I see Fat Home Vents. Every time. For three years.

  4. hate to break it to you but that booger was far from "non-existant"

    1. Nothing a little photoshop can't fix.