Friday, April 27, 2012

How Not To Sell Baby Photos

One of the things that becomes perfectly clear after you have a baby is that your room isn't really your room, it's the hospital's room.  Everyone knocks before they enter, but it's really just a courtesy to let you know that a woman is entering the room whether you like it or not.  Sometimes these women bring your baby, sometimes they grab your drugged up wife by the boob and talk about how formula is for yuppie assholes that care more about their own nipples than their child's well-being.

And then there is the hospital photographer.  She had the credentials around her neck that seemed to justify the typical knock-and-enter-regardless approach she employed.  She very casually mentioned that she was there to take pictures of the newborns.  The "appointment" lasted about 15 minutes, after which the photographer said she would return in the afternoon and give us the option to purchase some of the shots.  Emphasis on option.

Let me take this opportunity to point out how unnecessary an on-site photographer is in this age of digital diffusion.  In other words, what makes you think I am going to spend $90 dollars for the rights to the 12 pictures on your iPad when we spent the previous day collecting hundreds of pictures and videos across multiple devices?

When we broke the news that we would not be purchasing any prints, the charming young lady hit us with, "well...most people don't schedule the appointment unless they're going to purchase something."

You know those moments when someone walks right into a well-deserved verbal beatdown, but rather than let them have it you stare awkwardly then check your phone even though you know perfectly well there is no message?  Unfortunately, the whole thing ended as anti-climactic as it began.  The photographer eventually walked away empty-handed, no doubt on her way to run the douchey guilt close on several more new mothers that are loaded on pain-killers and too exhausted to stand their ground.

Note to the staff at Medical City Dallas - your patients deserve better.

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